Since the last issue
In 1698 five ships left Leith carrying twelve hundred Scots and the cargo they had chosen to make their fortune: woolen blankets, combs and periwigs, to be sold on the swamp coast of the Isthmus of Panama. Scotland had poured something close to a quarter of its available money into the venture, and the men who packed the holds had the entire world of goods to choose from and chose mittens for the tropics. Within a year the colony was a graveyard and the nation was broke. Carlos had the first pick in this draft.
Then George Pickens at 2.10, 15 spots early, then Saquon Barkley at 3.10, a 29-year-old ranked 47th, taken 17 spots early, which is the draft-board equivalent of stacking more wool on a ship already bound for the heat. Tetairoa McMillan at 4.01 went 7 spots early, because four picks and four reaches is a theme, not an accident. Darien at least had bad charts, a hostile empire and a fever nobody understood. Carlos had the top of the board, four hours per pick, and no one to blame but the man holding the clipboard. Zero steals. Clown.
The draft
Ja'Marr Chase at 1.06 was fine, and then Anish spent 2.05 on Justin Herbert, FantasyCalc's 30th player, 15 spots early. Amon-Ra St. Brown was on the board the entire time, and Devante walked off with him at 2.06 while Anish admired his new quarterback. That is the cuck chair with a draft board bolted to the front of it.
Joe Burrow at 1.08, 11 spots early, with Puka Nacua available and nobody making a move. Brandon then landed Nacua at 2.03 anyway, a steal of 7, which proves nothing about his eye and everything about the nine men who also looked at Nacua and yawned. He reached for a quarterback to protect a receiver no one was coming to take. Dumbass.
Ashton Jeanty at 2.02 with Puka Nacua still up, and Brandon took Nacua one pick later at 2.03. Three picks in, Matthew has drafted zero receivers in a league that starts three, which is a roster built to forfeit.