Since the last issue
In 53 BC Marcus Licinius Crassus, the richest man in Rome, marched seven legions into Mesopotamia because money had bought him everything except a triumph. He left the Euphrates on the advice of a guide named Ariamnes and walked into open desert against horse archers who never had to come within spear length of him. At Carrhae the eagles were lost, his son's head was brought to him on a pole, and Crassus himself died in a parley his own soldiers forced him into. Matthew would have taken the desert route on purpose and asked for a map of it.
Matthew spent 11.02 on Oronde Gadsden, a tight end FantasyCalc ranks 152nd, 50 spots early, and that is his second tight end in a league that starts one. Ty Simpson was sitting on the board through all of it, and Justin collected him at 12.04 the way the Parthians collected standards. He did get C.J. Stroud at 9.02, a steal of 26, which proves only that a man lost in the sand can still stumble into a puddle and call it a river. Then RJ Harvey at 10.09, 11 spots early, his fourth reach of this draft. Crassus at least had a traitor whispering directions to him in a language he did not speak. Matthew had a board with the names printed on it and four hours per pick.
The draft
Travis Kelce is 36 and Carlos handed him 12.01, 34 spots early, with Ty Simpson still there for Justin to take at 12.04. Stack that on Matthew Stafford at 38 and George Kittle at 32 and you get five reaches from a man who thinks a dynasty is something you inherit rather than build. Geriatric.
Baker Mayfield was available at 9.09 and Navid took DJ Moore instead, then scooped Mayfield at 10.02 anyway, a steal of 35 that happened for one reason: nobody else wanted him either. He also went 23 spots early on KC Concepcion at 8.02 and now sits on six receivers. Hoarder.
The roster is called Devante, Pitt, & Davante, which explains why he paid 19 spots early for Kyle Pitts at 8.05 and then took a 33-year-old Davante Adams at 11.06 to keep the letterhead honest. Ty Simpson sat there the whole time and Justin took him at 12.04, so Devante drafted a business card. Vanity.