Brandon: Kraft YAC & Cheese

Brandon bid $0 on Efton Chism in week 5 and got outbid by Justin's $29, which is the going rate for a man with no money and no conviction.

Brandon sat at 2.03 and took Puka Nacua, the 6th player on the board, a steal of 7 that he did nothing to earn beyond staying awake.

Patrick Mahomes at 4.08 is a steal of 9 for Brandon, who did nothing to deserve it and will tell you about his process anyway.

Brandon took DeVonta Smith at 6.08, a steal of 2, the smallest heist in league history, and left Javonte Williams sitting there so he could own a second receiver.

Brandon took his third running back at 8.08, 27-year-old Travis Etienne, while C.J. Stroud sat there as the 56th man on the board: hoarding leftovers, calling it a plan.

Michael Wilson at 10.08 is Brandon's third receiver, taken four spots early in a run of three, while Malik Willis and Daniel Jones sat there untouched.

Brandon took Jaylen Warren at 12.08, his fourth running back, with Josh Jacobs sitting there for Ethan to grab at 12.10 like a man collecting spare tires while the car burns.

Romeo Doubs, WR65, went 22 spots early at 14.08, Brandon's 5th receiver, which is what hoarding looks like when none of it is worth hoarding.

Brandon spent 16.08 on his sixth receiver, Dontayvion Wicks, while Zach Charbonnet sat there unclaimed, which is hoarding for its own sake.

Brandon's seventh pick at receiver, Keon Coleman, came 6 spots early, matching his third tight end for sheer refusal to draft a quarterback.

Brandon's Adonai Mitchell at 20.08 fell 28 spots into his lap, his eighth wideout, and he still somehow isn't the biggest wideout hoarder in the room.

Brandon reached 42 spots for Justin Fields at 22.08, stacking a second shaky quarterback after already wasting a pick on Flacco.

Brandon reached 36 spots for Oscar Delp at 24.08, his 4th tight end, committing to a bit nobody finds funny anymore.

Brandon grabbed Jaylen Wright at 26.08, his 7th running back, a pick so unremarkable it barely registers as a crime.

Brandon found Jalen Milroe fair at 28.08, a rare sane pick sandwiched between two reaches, like a man who got lost on the way to being wrong.

Brandon's Isaiah Bond landed 9 spots below rank, fine value buried in a round where everyone else was reaching.

Brandon stole Chris Brooks 67 spots early at pick 318, his tenth running back, one good pick drowning in nine mediocre ones.

Brandon reached 28 spots for Luke Musgrave at pick 338, his sixth tight end attempt, still swinging at a position he can't hit.